i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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