so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
