Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
