I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
