The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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