That's intense
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
