I think I am morally bankrupt
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
