I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
