And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
