Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
