He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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