I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
this hospital has no fireball
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
