One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize