he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
