There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
