and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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