So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
