it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
