i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
third nipple confirmed
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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