He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
