Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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