hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
