So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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