The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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