It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize