i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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