Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
