yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
