we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
