How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize