Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
