She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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