Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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