are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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