the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
