I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
