just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
