You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
