I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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