I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
