you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
