Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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