Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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