You smell like a Billy Joel song
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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