ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
