White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
