if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
