doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
