You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
