this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
