She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
