I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
