I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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