Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
