thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
