I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
