Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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