he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize